


I'm Sorry

by GreenPhoenix3



Category: Transformers (Bay Movies), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, F/M, Heavy Angst, I'm Sorry, I'm so sorry, Prime Dad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-14 13:48:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18477502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenPhoenix3/pseuds/GreenPhoenix3
Summary: It was never supposed to happen, but it did. Feelings, emotions, love (and loss) are like that.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> One, this is un-beta so I'm sorry for any mistakes.  
> Two, misery loves company.  
> Three, be glad I don't own Hasbro or Transformers anything.

Optimus was never an emotional bot. Even as Orion, it was hard for him to emote. Some said it was his greatest leadership quality, but it also hindered his relationships. His biggest regret was not understanding the passion in Megatron that so easily turned into a raging fury that sparked a war. Maybe if he just understood the righteous fury he could have prevented it. Still, that situation helped Orion understand the need for emotions. Shortly after he bonded with the bot patient enough to teach him emotions, Ariel. She stood by his side despite how cold it became for her. Even when he became a Prime, she upgraded as well, becoming Elita-One. She was made for his spark as much as his open mind was made to show her a new world.

It killed him when that new world took her from him. When he received the message that Elita-One was one of the victims of an air raid on a small town Vos, his spark surged violently, but he kept going. It was harder for him to see joy, feel pain, or even look at the mech looking to him for hope. He didn’t have it to give. Until he went to Vos himself. It was routine that a few solar cycles after a raid, a squad was sent to salvage for anything left. He could not refuse a position on the squad, despite the logical reasoning against such a decision. The data tracks of Elita were too strong in his mind to ignore them. He expected to find Elita-One’s body and the image of her emotionless, sparkless, body would erase all of her from him.

Instead, he found a starving sparkling. The first moment he saw the youngling, it was staring down a beastformer, a makeshift sword in its servos. If Optimus was honest, it was not heroics that made him save the youngling. It was the thought that the sparkling would make a good soldier. So when he did save the youngling, he did not expect the guilt that pierced his spark when he saw the sparkling. Judging by its uncolored plating, Optimus figured that it was created a few solar cycles before the raid. The sparkling was not even up to his knee plating. But it was the bright blue circular optics that stared at him in fear and adoration that struck him. They were so expressive, so open, and Optimus wanted to harden that by war. Optimus was disgusted with himself. He let the war and grief turn him into a lifeless fighting machine that saw this hurting sparkling as a tool. At that moment, he vowed to not let that happen to the sparkling. The sparkling would not be him. He would be a true leader. A leader of heart and mind. For the first time in a long time, as the sparkling curled next to him to recharge, Optimus felt his spark settle to a rhythm.

Time passed and the war turned into a conquest. The Decepticons wanted to wipe out all that opposed them. The sparkling into such one. B-127, as that was what was left of his identification designation, was a strong-willed and curious mech. Optimus watched as B-127 did grow to be a willing and capable soldier. He raced his friends, hoping to become faster to get innocents out of the way. He pulled pranks (Optimus still had a hard time not giving a chuckle whenever images of the oil-slicked training grounds came up) to lighten the mood when grief hung over everyone’s head. These memories gave Optimus hope. Then there was the time when B-127 killed his first Decepticon and when Optimus asked him about it, Optimus would always remember the unashamed ‘I protected my own.’ It was then that Optimus realized that when he first saw B-127, he saw B-127’s overwhelming protective and survival programming. It was then that Optimus realized that B-127 was not fighting the war because he believed in the Autobot cause, but he fought because of the Autobots. He would do anything to protect his friends and what they cared about. Optimus admired B-127’s loyalty. Logically it was admirably and useful trait in the young bot. Still, Optimus could not help but feel it would also be B-127’s downfall. But Optimus did not know how to say this.

He wished he did.

The moment Megatron woke Unicorn, he knew they lost. The Decepticons had won, or so it seemed. Unicron was pure chaos and destruction. Just to show Megatron who had the power, he used the same relics that woke him to get rid of half of the Cybertronian race. No one expected that, least of all Optimus.

“Optimus.” Optimus turned to Bumblebee. Bumblebee, who was supposed to be guarding the humans with Smokescreen. But of course, when he heard that Hot Rod took a nasty shot and Optimus was left alone on the field, Bumblebee just had to come to protect Optimus. Optimus wished Bumblebee would just listen to orders. He wished he was imagining the yellow rust and dust that was blowing away. “I don’t feel so good.” Optimus watched as Bumblebee’s yellow plating started to rust and peel into the wind. His antennas were twitching frantically and he stared at Optimus, optics full of fear. The same fear he had as a sparkling facing an opponent he shouldn’t have faced alone. “I-I don’t, I don’t know what’s happening.”

“Bumblebee.” For once, Optimus was at a lost of words.

“Hel, help.” All Optimus could do was catch Bumblebee as he stumbled to the ground. Optimus tried to ignore the fact that the rust was already eating at the wires in Bumblebee’s legs.

“You’ll be fine.” Those empty words did nothing to soothe the terror that filled their EM fields. Optimus trembled from the pain of helplessness. The denting grip from Bumblebee’s rusting arms held him together.

“I, I don’t wanna go, Optimus. Please.” Optimus’ spark surged at Bumblebee’s desperate plea. Bumblebee never begged. Not even to spend time with Charlie or for his voice. To hear him, a youngling not even finished upgrading, beg for life, left Optimus feeling ice cold. It froze his lip plates shut. “Please. I, I can’t leave her. Please.” There was a snap and Bumblebee fell to the ground. Optimus followed, not able to do anything else. Bumblebee’s optics zoomed in and out of focus as Optimus felt the rust chip and devour Bumblebee. Slowly, Bumblebee’s optics focused back onto Optimus. Optimus felt an odd peace break through the ice in his processor. “I’m sorry.” In a shutter of Optimus’ optics, Bumblebee was nothing but rust that broke apart with a simple gust of the wind. Bumblebee, his sparkling, was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie's Reaction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People wanted this. I'm sorry. 
> 
> It is not beta-read. And I own nothing.

Charlie thought she knew grief and pain. When she lost her father, she felt a hole enter her heart. The fact she didn’t even get to say goodbye made the hole a pit of despair that she could not see out of. That was until she found Bumblebee in his ridiculously bright yellow paint. (She never got to tell him how he was the light of her life.) He drove her out in such a manner that she didn’t even realize that she was out till she was staring at the bridge, a smile on her face as she laid on top of his hood. He tried revving his engine to keep her warm and dry her soaked clothes. She ended up laughing because it tickled her. (She should’ve told him she love-loved- him then.)

Now, she laid on the cold barren ground as the cold night wind blew around her. Usually, there would be horns blaring and the faint music from random radio stations. But now it was stone silent as if the world sensed the tragedy that happened in the universe. A static, that was so familiar to a radio trying to find the right station, filled her ears. 

“No.” Charlie covered her eyes as she gasped the word out. She knew her mind was trying to give her what she wanted, but not like that. Not like him.

“You know you love that about me.” His (last) words played in her mind. 

“No!” Charlie covered her eyes with her arm as if that could stop the tears that seemed to never stop. Her mind betrayed her by reminding her that her tears always stopped when she was in Bumblebee’s arms. Even when he came back worse for wear after a scuffle with a Decepticon named Shadowstrike and the fear that he could get hurt, that she could lose him (she did), was all too real.

_ I’ll be coming home. Wait for me. _ He loves (loved) Unchained Melody.

“I am sorry Charlie, he is not coming back.” Optimus’ voice rang in her ears and she wanted to scream or fight those words, but all that came out was a strangled sob. A snap made her sit up and turn. Optimus stood in the lining of the forest, his optics blank.

“I apologize.” His voice was robotic and cold. She didn’t want to hear it. (She wanted young, sarcastic, life, Bee.) “I just came to see if you are all right.” She remembered how she lashed out when her dad died, trying to get rid of the pain any way she could. Now, now she was just tired. So she just nodded and laid back down. She felt Optimus move to her, the ground shaking as he came closer. It shook violently when he sat down. (She wondered if it was her imagination that heard a rattling in her chest.) A thick heavy silence weighed over them as both stared at the stars.

“Can, can you play Unchained Melody?” Her question was barely a whisper, but still, the song played lowly from his chest. She closed her eyes,

And she was back in that moment when she first told him about her dad when they first touched. His hands gently wrapping around her. Then they were dancing the night she arrived at their base. His smell of metal, oil, and stardust filling her as he held her and whispered her name as if it was the best thing he ever said.

“His last words were I’m sorry.” Optimus’ cold tone broke her. She wasn’t going to hold him anymore. She wasn’t going to hear him whisper her name. He was gone, and all she left with him was, ‘You’re too loyal for your own good.’

“No, he wasn’t.”

_ God-Speed your love to me. _ She thought she knew pain and grief. She thought the pit of despair and rage swallowed her whole. Then she met love. No one told her love kills.

**Author's Note:**

> You're at the endgame now.


End file.
